Chased by a cat

Chased by a cat

So last week I was on a bike, cycling through nearest villages, having a great time on my own and the weather was sunny. When something really strange happened. I was driving with a speed of about 15 km/h on a road, surrounded by fields and almost no houses.

So I was driving past high grass, while talking to myself (like always, as you know), when I heard something moving in the grass. Something black, then I realised it's a cat. My first reaction was "Aww, a cat.", like when you see a little ball of fur with puppy eyes. Well not puppy, it's a freaking cat. But then all became strange, the sh*t that happened was as expected as the slutty career of Miley Cyrus.

Source: mohammadamiri.deviantart.com

When I went by the cat, it started to run after me, chasing me like it's for its life. It caught up with me, I was shocked while looking down what the hell is going on. The freaking cat ran WITH me, it was so close to the wheels, that I was sitting frozen, so I wouldn't run over it. I yelled "What the f*ck is wrong with you?", but it became clear that it was racing with me! Even though I was confused, just as I am when listening PSY songs, I pushed the pedals harder and raced with that f*ucking cat. The cat obviously understood what I was doing, so it used its full power to just pass me by with the speed of light. You should've seen that. It looked like some old granny vs. Bolt on olympics.

Source: frankyding90.deviantart.com

Freaking cat went past me, ran to the other side of road into the high grass, just a centimeter away from front wheel of my stupid bike, who lost a match towards a cat. A cat. I'll never be able to look into the eyes of my bike again. Stupid bike. Stupid cat. This fight isn't over. I shall come back and outrun you, Cat the Greatest. Brace yourselves, all the cats of humanity .. I mean, of cat-nity, as my comeback will defeat you all. And here's a song, that's in my head most commonly since that day:

            Hey kitty,

Fool kitty,

Stupid ball from hell.

Lazy kitty,

Looser kitty,

War, war, war.

Source: tumblr.com

tanci94

Summer's up! RIP my skin.

Summer's up! RIP my skin. 

It's june already and hot days are coming in. It's that time of the year, when you don't know if you should stay inside, cause it's so hot, and just chill, or go outside and get burnt to the bones. I prefer staying inside, cause my skin obviously hates sun. I get burnt quicker than a nerd spells p-h-o-t-o-t-o-x-i-c.

 

Source: learning.blogs.nytimes.com

Wasn't even summer yet, and I'm already burnt. Just for being on a bike for an hour. Nice. And right after my skin recover from that, it gets all milky-coloured again. Everytime. Like what tha ...?

 

Picture this, every summer I get to the seaside, everyone there has a nice tan, looking good, and I'm there as white as a polar bear who lost his way, ending up in Hall of Darkness. I swear my skin could glow in the dark, I'm that white. And the sun gets me everywhereee! Universe hates me, apparently.. Sun, Earth and The Moon gather together saying: Yo, lets burn this madafakaa. I sure appreciate it. Dumbasses.

 

Source: lavendra.deviantart.com

And I just hate it, when people say "Aww you're so white!" and they compare their skin to mine. That kinda looks like Oreo cookie, when clearly I'm the one in the middle. And then they're all smart, saying "Go sunbathing, tan a little!" Yea. Sure. Cause I never tried that. Thanks for advice. Let me go and cover myself with lots of magnifying glasses while walking down the street instead of sunbathing. Practically the fuc*ing same thing to me.

 

Source: www.newgrounds.com

 

So let me enjoy the sunny-less spots of the world, cause the sun is getting up again. Need to escape from its powers, I don't wanna be a tomato for the rest of the summer. Better find a cave real soon. Anyone joining?

 

tanci94